This post is LATE. Why? Because we have been having so much fun!
I was even hesitant to continue writing out each month's milestones. I started this private blog to keep track of our IVF journey. I documented everything and it was a great resource for me to share with others in the same boat. I also found it cathartic to write out all my emotions in a safe space. Then, I documented my entire pregnancy and thought I would do the same for the first year of my son's life, broken down in monthly updates to look back on. As of right now, I am going to continue, but not hold myself to one month updates, just as changes occur.
So much has happened since Matheson turned one. He was on whole milk only starting on his birthday and was weaned off bottles in exactly 7 days. It was an easy, flawless transition to straw cups only. Right now, he gets 8oz of milk in the morning and with his evening dinner. Water during the day. I have also done chamomile and lavender tea at bedtime when he's had a fussy day.
I so desperately wanted my son to be walking by his first birthday, but he didn't take off until 12m3w. And that's ok. Matty is cautious and does things when he is ready. It's me that needs to let go of expectations and preconceived notions. I would say that's a character flaw of mine, but it really makes me who I am.
Everyday I am thankful that we are fortunate enough for me to stay home and raise our children. I still ache for one more child, but know that isn't in the cards for us. I am grateful that we are financially stable and my income isn't missed.
Matheson is such an easy baby. I actually enjoy taking him places. We go somewhere everyday. We go to museums and baby gym. M plays in the gym childcare center while I get an hour workout to myself. I've even brought him with me to get my hair colored and styled! Play spaces are so much fun now that he is walking. He's my shopping buddy at the grocery store. Tristan was so difficult at this age. I don't remember enjoying this age with him.
It's so hard to believe that this time last year I had a tiny baby in my arms. In a flash, I have a walking, babbling toddler that weighs 26lbs! I am grateful for Matheson every single day.
In other news, I am down 42lbs since my failed transfer in June. I go to the gym 4-5 days per week and I feel GREAT. I still have 20-30lbs to get to my goal weight and feel like that will be a slower loss. The good news is I relearned how to eat healthy and understand portion control. Exercising is now a habit and a renewed sense of self. I just started taking yoga and group classes again. I wanted to wait until I lost some weight and had strength and stamina to complete the class on a high. I am still on track to get my mommy makeover in December like I want. The only downside is the downtime that I will need. I need to find a way to make that work. From my research, I need someone to care for me and Matheson for two weeks. Nick could take off a week, but I am not sure about that second week. I wouldn't be able to pick up Matheson for 6 weeks and also no working out. Both of those are hard. I researched plastic surgeons and narrowed down to 4. I need to setup a consultation like now if I want to do this after Christmas/ early January. It takes 6 months for the full results to be seen, which will be in June, which is perfect at that is when the pool opens and I can be confident in a swimsuit again.
Tuesday, November 12, 2019
Monday, September 30, 2019
ONE
I didn't blink, as they say, I was there this entire year watching you grow and develop. From that first smile and giggle to sitting up and crawling. Anxiously, I awaited your first steps. I snuggled you when you let me and gave you space to explore.
You have the sweetest temperament, loveable and warm to strangers. You have become my shadow, my Velcro baby that wants to be held and has a permanent place on my hip. My social butterfly always wanting to play with other children. You are literally a mini version of your dad with a thick head full of dark hair and piercing blue eyes. Even with a cautious demeanor, you love to climb, but you will wait for me to bring you down or help you go down the slide. You share the same birth mark with your brother and have my nose and toes. A beautiful blend of your family.
While any transition is difficult, leaving babyhood behind for toddler hood is exciting and terrifying at the same time. I will cherish the memories and look forward to continuing this exciting adventure.
You have the sweetest temperament, loveable and warm to strangers. You have become my shadow, my Velcro baby that wants to be held and has a permanent place on my hip. My social butterfly always wanting to play with other children. You are literally a mini version of your dad with a thick head full of dark hair and piercing blue eyes. Even with a cautious demeanor, you love to climb, but you will wait for me to bring you down or help you go down the slide. You share the same birth mark with your brother and have my nose and toes. A beautiful blend of your family.
While any transition is difficult, leaving babyhood behind for toddler hood is exciting and terrifying at the same time. I will cherish the memories and look forward to continuing this exciting adventure.
Reflections on my labor, one year ago.
A year ago today, I went to the hospital on a Saturday to turn in my 24-hour urine for quick screening. I had been showing signs of developing pre-clampsia my entire 3rd trimester. My doctor was monitoring me closely and I was already scheduled for an induction at 37 weeks. I also had a migraine for two weeks straight that Tylenol wouldn't touch. The results an hour later showed my kidneys were failing with high amounts of protein in my urine.
I was immediately admitted to L&D. Refusing a c-section, the doctor allowed me to try an induction. The magnesium drip for pre-e was the most horrid experience as it basically felt like the flu was being administered. The liquid in the IV burned and never stopped burning. My skin was on fire. With gestational diabetes, my blood sugar dropped too low and I was shaking and vomiting. I wasn't sure how much longer I could endure and I was only dilated to a 2.
*32* hours later,
I was maxed out on Pitocin and dilated to a 9, where I stalled for 2 hours. Nick never left my side and held my hand the entire time. Exhausted and delirious, I cried and begged for them to let me push. The doctor on call that night decided to let me try even though I wasn't fully dilated since I had a previous vaginal delivery. One set of pushes and she was like, "WHOA. You are having this baby right now!" and started putting on her gear.
Less than five minutes later, Matheson was laying on my chest. He was born at exactly 36 weeks at 1:37am on October 1, 2018. Perfect and healthy, Matty required no NICU time which we were grateful for.
There are a ton of emotions I’m feeling right now, but mostly, I’m feeling proud as hell. I beat infertility, survived pre-clampsia and embraced giving up my career to be a stay-at-home mom.
Wednesday, September 4, 2019
11 Months Old
September 1 was Nick's 40th birthday and also the day Matheson turned 11 months and said, Mama for the first time. It was quite a day!
Matty has had the same nap schedule for months, but it just changed about a week or so ago. He will now take a morning nap exactly 3 hours after waking and the afternoon nap is much later.
6-6:30am Wake
Bottle
8-8:30 Breakfast
9-9:30 Morning nap (about an hour)
Bottle
12-12:30 Lunch
1-1:30pm Afternoon nap for about an hour
2:30-3pm Snack after waking with small bottle
5-5:30pm Dinner
6:45pm Bath and book
7pm - Bedtime
Matheson will let go and stand unassisted for about 20 seconds. He's attempted one step so far that I have seen and grabbed Doogan for balance. He crawls so fast that I don't think he has any interest in walking unassisted yet.
We stopped putting the Owlet on him as well as he was moving the monitor with his other foot causing the alarm to go off. So many changes. In just a few short weeks, I won't have a baby anymore. Sniff Sniff. I will have a toddler and I am not ok with how fast this year has flown by!
Matty has had the same nap schedule for months, but it just changed about a week or so ago. He will now take a morning nap exactly 3 hours after waking and the afternoon nap is much later.
6-6:30am Wake
Bottle
8-8:30 Breakfast
9-9:30 Morning nap (about an hour)
Bottle
12-12:30 Lunch
1-1:30pm Afternoon nap for about an hour
2:30-3pm Snack after waking with small bottle
5-5:30pm Dinner
6:45pm Bath and book
7pm - Bedtime
Matheson will let go and stand unassisted for about 20 seconds. He's attempted one step so far that I have seen and grabbed Doogan for balance. He crawls so fast that I don't think he has any interest in walking unassisted yet.
We stopped putting the Owlet on him as well as he was moving the monitor with his other foot causing the alarm to go off. So many changes. In just a few short weeks, I won't have a baby anymore. Sniff Sniff. I will have a toddler and I am not ok with how fast this year has flown by!
Sunday, August 4, 2019
10 months old
10 months old.
This year is just blowing by so fast. Matheson is my last baby and I don't want the baby year to be done just yet.
The last week the finally arrived at the perfect 7-7 sleep routine. Down at 7pm and awake at 7am. A solid 12 hours of uninterrupted slumber.
Dada was Matty's first word. He's with mama all day and yet, dada gets the glory. He's also said dog and hi. Not often and not when prompted, but he has said them multiple times.
We started going to the little gym for babies called My Gym. There is a class at 11:15am on Tuesdays for 7-13 months. Matheson loves it! He is so social and I get to talk to other moms as well. He plays and explores the entire hour and afterwards there is open gym for children of all ages. He plays there too and is fascinated watching the big boys run and jump around. Fearless.
I am anxiously awaiting for him to take his first steps. I know, I know, I just typed I don't want him to grow up, but with his size, most people wonder why he isn't walking. It will be easier when I can put him down and he can stand and I don't have to worry about him crawling on a dirty floor.
This year is just blowing by so fast. Matheson is my last baby and I don't want the baby year to be done just yet.
The last week the finally arrived at the perfect 7-7 sleep routine. Down at 7pm and awake at 7am. A solid 12 hours of uninterrupted slumber.
Dada was Matty's first word. He's with mama all day and yet, dada gets the glory. He's also said dog and hi. Not often and not when prompted, but he has said them multiple times.
We started going to the little gym for babies called My Gym. There is a class at 11:15am on Tuesdays for 7-13 months. Matheson loves it! He is so social and I get to talk to other moms as well. He plays and explores the entire hour and afterwards there is open gym for children of all ages. He plays there too and is fascinated watching the big boys run and jump around. Fearless.
I am anxiously awaiting for him to take his first steps. I know, I know, I just typed I don't want him to grow up, but with his size, most people wonder why he isn't walking. It will be easier when I can put him down and he can stand and I don't have to worry about him crawling on a dirty floor.
Monday, July 8, 2019
Packing for baby's first flight
***Update. What I used and what I didn't (Links included)
Diaper Bag:
Ear Planes: plugs for air pressure for babies' ears - Matty pulled those out in the first five minutes! Not worth it.
2 food pouches
Puffs and other baby snacks - This was the best thing ever to occupy time!
Gummi Mat to put snacks on. This worked great on the tray table and restaurant
2 new toys for flight
Small new book
Lysol wipes
Diapers, wipes
Hand sanitizer
3 bottles - One bottle during takeoff and one towards end of flight
Formula container and sample can of formula
Sippy cup, filled with water
3 binkies, one with strap
Muslin blanket - This worked well to cover him while sleeping
Saline nose wipes - Didn't use
Toss away bibs - These didn't work out well as he ripped off the paper bib that was secured only with a sticker
Car seat in Gate check bag - I bought a cheap one on Amazon that did not have backpack straps. It was difficult for Nick to haul the carseat plus all our luggage. Lesson learned. Next trip will buy the more expensive one with straps.
Stroller to check at gate - I am glad we brought the Bugaboo Bee5 rather than the smaller umbrella stroller. He spent allot of time in the stroller and the Bee is comfortable and very maneuverable.
Ergobaby carrier - This was another win! Matty was completely happy in backpack carry. We took turns wearing him when he didn't want to be in his stroller or where a stroller wasn't permitted.
Large suitcase to check:
Travel high chair- This worked great for eating in the hotel room
Several toys for hotel room
Diapers, wipes
Food pouches, formula
Travel bottle soap, bottle brush
Extra bottles
Woolino Sleepsack
Crib sheet and blanket (for cushioning) for rollaway crib
Sound machine and charger
Owlet and charger
A roll of paper towels
Pump hand soap for bathroom
Diaper Bag:
Ear Planes: plugs for air pressure for babies' ears -
2 food pouches
Puffs and other baby snacks - This was the best thing ever to occupy time!
Gummi Mat to put snacks on. This worked great on the tray table and restaurant
2 new toys for flight
Small new book
Lysol wipes
Diapers, wipes
Hand sanitizer
3 bottles - One bottle during takeoff and one towards end of flight
Formula container and sample can of formula
Sippy cup, filled with water
3 binkies, one with strap
Muslin blanket - This worked well to cover him while sleeping
Saline nose wipes - Didn't use
Toss away bibs - These didn't work out well as he ripped off the paper bib that was secured only with a sticker
Car seat in Gate check bag - I bought a cheap one on Amazon that did not have backpack straps. It was difficult for Nick to haul the carseat plus all our luggage. Lesson learned. Next trip will buy the more expensive one with straps.
Stroller to check at gate - I am glad we brought the Bugaboo Bee5 rather than the smaller umbrella stroller. He spent allot of time in the stroller and the Bee is comfortable and very maneuverable.
Ergobaby carrier - This was another win! Matty was completely happy in backpack carry. We took turns wearing him when he didn't want to be in his stroller or where a stroller wasn't permitted.
Large suitcase to check:
Travel high chair- This worked great for eating in the hotel room
Several toys for hotel room
Diapers, wipes
Food pouches, formula
Travel bottle soap, bottle brush
Extra bottles
Woolino Sleepsack
Crib sheet and blanket (for cushioning) for rollaway crib
Sound machine and charger
Owlet and charger
A roll of paper towels
Pump hand soap for bathroom
9 months old and first illness
My 9 month old looks like a toddler and I am not ok with this.
23lbs/ 30" long wearing 18 month clothing.
Matty is cruising all the furniture now and pushing push toys. Naps and nighttime sleep are still consistent. Although, he has started headbanging to put himself to sleep in the crib.
The day Matheson turned 9 months old, he got his first fever. A rectal temperature of 102.8. It was also his brother's 11th birthday. Matheson was fine that morning, but felt a little warm when he woke up from his nap. We rushed off to Main Event for Tristan to celebrate his birthday with his friend.
During the two hours we were at Main Event, Matty got very sick and was hot to the touch and lethargic. The next day, I took him to the doctor. A viral infection. We were told and just push fluids and Tylenol. He stopped eating solids and was up the entire night crying. Matty was extremely fussy and cried all the next day. The doctor called the next day as a followup and asked me to look in his mouth and sure enough, his poor little mouth was covered in ulcers! No wonder he wouldn't eat and was so miserable!
Hand Foot and Mouth Disease.
Ugh. I heard about this before, but Tristan never got it.
He also developed a rash on the side of his face and around his mouth. The 4th of July, Thursday, we made our first visit to Urgent Care. The rash was Impedigo and he was prescribed a cream, which cleared it up within the first few applications. For the ulcers in the his mouth, equal parts of Maalox and Benadryl were mixed to squirt in his mouth to help with the pain. He also had spots on his hands and legs. At this point, I was rotating Tylenol and Motrin. My poor baby's first illness was a doozy!
On day 5, he finally started eating a little again. By day 6, all blisters were gone in his mouth and on his skin. This illness knocked out our entire family! Tristan and I were ill with flu like symptoms for about 24 hours. Nick was the last to get sick and his lasted longer with some bumps on his hands and a sore throat. Apparently, adults get a very mild reaction and nothing like children.
The only public place Matheson had been prior to getting sick was the gym childcare center at Lifetime Fitness. I felt terrible! I became at stay at home mom to not put him in daycare, but I thought an hour here and there would be good for social interaction and I would get a little me time to work on getting back in shape. Ugh, you just can't win sometimes as a mom.
23lbs/ 30" long wearing 18 month clothing.
Matty is cruising all the furniture now and pushing push toys. Naps and nighttime sleep are still consistent. Although, he has started headbanging to put himself to sleep in the crib.
The day Matheson turned 9 months old, he got his first fever. A rectal temperature of 102.8. It was also his brother's 11th birthday. Matheson was fine that morning, but felt a little warm when he woke up from his nap. We rushed off to Main Event for Tristan to celebrate his birthday with his friend.
During the two hours we were at Main Event, Matty got very sick and was hot to the touch and lethargic. The next day, I took him to the doctor. A viral infection. We were told and just push fluids and Tylenol. He stopped eating solids and was up the entire night crying. Matty was extremely fussy and cried all the next day. The doctor called the next day as a followup and asked me to look in his mouth and sure enough, his poor little mouth was covered in ulcers! No wonder he wouldn't eat and was so miserable!
Hand Foot and Mouth Disease.
Ugh. I heard about this before, but Tristan never got it.
He also developed a rash on the side of his face and around his mouth. The 4th of July, Thursday, we made our first visit to Urgent Care. The rash was Impedigo and he was prescribed a cream, which cleared it up within the first few applications. For the ulcers in the his mouth, equal parts of Maalox and Benadryl were mixed to squirt in his mouth to help with the pain. He also had spots on his hands and legs. At this point, I was rotating Tylenol and Motrin. My poor baby's first illness was a doozy!
On day 5, he finally started eating a little again. By day 6, all blisters were gone in his mouth and on his skin. This illness knocked out our entire family! Tristan and I were ill with flu like symptoms for about 24 hours. Nick was the last to get sick and his lasted longer with some bumps on his hands and a sore throat. Apparently, adults get a very mild reaction and nothing like children.
The only public place Matheson had been prior to getting sick was the gym childcare center at Lifetime Fitness. I felt terrible! I became at stay at home mom to not put him in daycare, but I thought an hour here and there would be good for social interaction and I would get a little me time to work on getting back in shape. Ugh, you just can't win sometimes as a mom.
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