Transfer #5 - last and final FET

Today was surreal walking into the clinic.... well, actually me running in to go to the bathroom because my stomach holds all my emotions and I needed to POOP! lol

First of all, per the usual, I couldn't sleep last night. Too excited to shut my brain off. It also didn't help that we needed to arrive at the clinic at 6am for the 7am transfer. 

We found an amazing sitter, Heather, that arrived at 5:15am to care for Matheson. Tristan is responsible and capable to get up, dressed and on the bus on time. 

I was nervous going into the transfer as I opted not to have another SIS, as is standard protocol on doing another FET after vaginal delivery. Honestly, I just didn't want another procedure, so it was a toss up if my uterus was going to be good or not.

My lining and uterus looked perfect. At this point, I joked that Dr Yeh has a map of uterus, but actually the bump/curve that I've had was no longer there. Childbirth straightened out my uterus and it was long and straight. All good things.

Our last PGS tested embryo, a male, looked beautiful. I was thinking he maybe wouldn't survive the thaw and we would need to use an untested embryo, but all went smoothly.

As the nurse gave us instructions, we couldn't help but smile and state we were veterans at this! We transferred a total of 7 embryos over 5 transfers. And I have been adamant that this one will be the last final attempt to expand our family. I can't put my body through this anymore, so I feel like I gave it my best shot and will be content with the end of my reproductive years whether it is successful or not. 

After we were done, I was actually the only transfer scheduled for Dr Yeh that morning, Nick and I contemplated our breakfast options and went to a trendy brunch spot and ate together alone, not something that happens often. I had Nutella french toast and it was glorious!

Upon arriving home, the good thing is I have too much on my plate to sit around and obsess about bodily response and when to test. Nick let me rest mostly today. I tried to nap and couldn't. So as I type this, I.AM.TIRED! Tomorrow, it is business as usual, starting with Matheson's 8 month pictures at our favorite photographer about an hour away. Next week, I also have something going on everyday to keep me busy. 

Baby boy you are wanted and loved already. I hope that fate is in our favor and you implant and stay for 9 months. We can't wait to meet you, my love!

10 days till transfer

I am one week into estrogen priming and it has been rough! It's such a different vibe this time. I don't have any issues drinking a glass or two of wine during the 3 week transfer process. Time is going by faster since I have Matheson to take care of, so I don't have the energy to obsess over everything.

Transfer is set at May 31st. I just found a babysitter today for that day. If successful, baby boy #3 will be due 2/15/20; though more than likely will be born in January.


My thyroid results came back super high which now makes sense why I can't lose any weight and I am so tired. I thought the exhaustion was just par for the course staying home and raising children. My meds have been changed from 100mg to 150mg. Hopefully, that lowers my thyroid hormone enough by transfer day.

I can't believe I am doing this again

Yesterday, I had my endometrial scratch done. I needed the nurse to hold my hand as it really hurt this time. I have been crampy ever since then. I had bloodwork done and was cleared to start hormones. I have been irritable and tired. I have a headache and Nick is in Vegas for work this week. I was crying for no reason while in the car pickup line to get Tristan and I hate that getting pregnant is this hard.

It's so unfair. I was so sure this is what I wanted to do and now I am having all types of doubt. I am only on day 2 of hormones and I am struggling. Can I even handle two small children? Another difficult pregnancy while caring for my other two sons? ALL.THE.FEELS.

Ready to try for baby #3 - HFI Consultation

OMG... I must be NUTS. I have a 7 month old and I will be transferring another embryo SOON.


Nick and I (baby in tow) met with Dr Yeh today to discuss transferring our last tested embryo. My period is due in the next few days. Once I get my cycle, I will start birth control pills to do a saline ultrasound/ scratch and then start the process ALL over again.

Dr Yeh thinks due to my history of failed transfers and this being the last and only transfer, I will ever do, that I should transfer a tested and untested embryo for success. He stated my uterus is picky and high maintenance! lol
We do not want twins this time, especially since twins and pre-eclampsia go hand in hand and I had it last time, if I get pregnant with twins, it could get really scary for me, healthwise.

We won't be inventing the wheel and will do same protocol as last time, which is below.

o Take/administer the following medication(s)
- Fri 02/16/2018: 
o Low dose aspirin 81 mg, take 1 pill (81mg) once a day
o Estrace 2 mg, Take TWO tablets by mouth to dissolve under your tongue TWO times per day
o Minivelle Patch 0.1mg 0.1 mg/dl, place 3 patches on the skin and change all 3 every 3 days (Keep on skin for 3 days change on 4th day when instructed.)
o Lovenox 40 mg, take 1 prefilled syringe subq a day
o Progesterone in Sesame Oil 50 mg/ml, give 150mg (3cc) IM each day (check to see if mixture is 100mg/1cc or 50mg/1cc)

7 months old

Time is a thief.

Matheson is seven months old and that tiny baby we brought home from the hospital is now a 20lb/29" big boy.

Teething has been happening for awhile now, which means drooling and gnawing on everything. The tip of a bottom tooth is now visible (and super sharp!), but it has not come out yet.

I have been grateful that Matheson sleeps the entire night. He is in bed between 7-7:30pm and wakes between 6-6:30am. Some nights I need to go upstairs and do a binky rescue, but the last week, I haven't needed to as he will put himself back to sleep without a binky. Naps are still pretty consistent. Morning nap is 2 hours after he wakes up and afternoon nap is around lunch time. In the evening, around 5pm, I need to walk him around the block for a quiet siesta.

The noises this boy makes is something else. Matty growls and shrieks and babbles/whines all the time. He definitely makes his presence known. My mom used to tell me that you never knew there was a baby in the house because I was so quiet. NOT my son. hahaha

Matty sits and plays with toys... ALL the toys. There is freedom in the ability to put in a shopping cart and aimlessly shop at Target. He loves to be outside. We've had nice weather this Spring. Beautiful weather with no humidity. He and I will sit outside on a blanket or I will bring the activity center and PNP on the patio. Something about watching him look up at the wind blowing through the trees and bushes makes me smile. I tease Nick that this one is going to make him go camping. Ha!

Right now, I am getting ready to turn our study into a playroom for Matheson. His toys are starting to take over the living room giving me anxiety as I don't like stuff and clutter everywhere. I am excited to start painting and decorating the room!

Thoughts on being a stay at home mom

I have been a SAHM now for 6 months and I am surprised how much I enjoy it. Granted it is harder than I imagined it would be.

Routines keep my sanity. I enjoy my coffee upon waking while watching the Today Show. After that, the TV goes off. I hate daytime TV and I don't want Matheson hearing the noise of that all day. I keep classical music on to break the silence, but with two wheaties in the house, they are always barking at something.

Some universal truths, even as a tidy person, being home all day, I am constantly cleaning up after MYSELF! Make breakfast, clean up breakfast, etc.

I need to make my bed everyday. Which takes less than a minute honestly, since we literally just have a comforter to pull up, but walking in and out of our room and seeing the bed disheveled just eats at me.

Laundry. I still do a load every other day as needed. Smaller loads more frequently keep me from never being overwhelmed.

Mid morning is when I can get out if something needs to be done as I am strict with nap times; however, as strict that I am, I still have some spontaneity. Just today, the weather was just a perfect Spring day. We had no plans and after waking up from his morning nap, I packed him up and we went to the Mercer Aboritorum Gardens to stroll through the flowers. We were back in time for the afternoon nap. Totally unplanned and I had never been there before.

I am surprised how much I enjoy the banal, mundane of domestic life. I have the time to get those repairs scheduled, make phone calls on claims, organize a junk drawer or clean out my closet. Plan dinners, even if I don't cook everyday. Pickup drycleaning, bring Tristan to ortho appointments, etc. I may not be contributing financially, but my role is just as equal. I am truly grateful that I get to stay home and raise my sons.

From the age of sixteen, I have held a job with only a lapse of maternity leave. I got into the habit of making sure before I go to bed everything is done for a clean start to the next day. This is still important to me. After putting Matty to sleep, I wash his bottles and replenish the Breeza. I do the dishes after we are done eating. Coffee is made. I pick up toys in the living room. I go to bed around 9:30pm and feel good about what was accomplished during the day.

6 months - Half Way to First

6 months old!

It's hard to imagine, Matheson was born six months ago today. So much has changed! Our little ham is weighing in at almost 20lbs! We go Wednesday for his checkup and vaccinations, so I will update with percentiles.

This morning he slept from 7:30pm to 7:20am! Which is just incredible and we are so lucky that he allows us SLEEP.

Matty loves to sit and play. We read stories to him daily and he tries to turn the pages. We haven't experienced anymore food reactions. He does get eczema on his skin that I just found the Mustela products work really on him. He laughs and squeals and loves for people to hold him.

We took Matheson to a restaurant on Sunday where we met some of our friends before Nick's softball game. He was excellent! Matty sat in a high chair then fell asleep while his dad was holding him. We then went to the ball fields and watched dad play. Nick's team didn't win, but he had the biggest smile on his face knowing we were watching him.