ONE

I didn't blink, as they say, I was there this entire year watching you grow and develop. From that first smile and giggle to sitting up and crawling. Anxiously, I awaited your first steps. I snuggled you when you let me and gave you space to explore.

You have the sweetest temperament, loveable and warm to strangers. You have become my shadow, my Velcro baby that wants to be held and has a permanent place on my hip. My social butterfly always wanting to play with other children. You are literally a mini version of your dad with a thick head full of dark hair and piercing blue eyes. Even with a cautious demeanor, you love to climb, but you will wait for me to bring you down or help you go down the slide.  You share the same birth mark with your brother and have my nose and toes. A beautiful blend of your family. 

While any transition is difficult, leaving babyhood behind for toddler hood is exciting and terrifying at the same time. I will cherish the memories and look forward to continuing this exciting adventure.

Reflections on my labor, one year ago.

A year ago today, I went to the hospital on a Saturday to turn in my 24-hour urine for quick screening. I had been showing signs of developing pre-clampsia my entire 3rd trimester. My doctor was monitoring me closely and I was already scheduled for an induction at 37 weeks. I also had a migraine for two weeks straight that Tylenol wouldn't touch. The results an hour later showed my kidneys were failing with high amounts of protein in my urine.

I was immediately admitted to L&D. Refusing a c-section, the doctor allowed me to try an induction. The magnesium drip for pre-e was the most horrid experience as it basically felt like the flu was being administered. The liquid in the IV burned and never stopped burning. My skin was on fire. With gestational diabetes, my blood sugar dropped too low and I was shaking and vomiting. I wasn't sure how much longer I could endure and I was only dilated to a 2.

*32* hours later,

I was maxed out on Pitocin and dilated to a 9, where I stalled for 2 hours. Nick never left my side and held my hand the entire time. Exhausted and delirious, I cried and begged for them to let me push. The doctor on call that night decided to let me try even though I wasn't fully dilated since I had a previous vaginal delivery. One set of pushes and she was like, "WHOA. You are having this baby right now!" and started putting on her gear.

Less than five minutes later, Matheson was laying on my chest. He was born at exactly 36 weeks at 1:37am on October 1, 2018. Perfect and healthy, Matty required no NICU time which we were grateful for.
There are a ton of emotions I’m feeling right now, but mostly, I’m feeling proud as hell. I beat infertility, survived pre-clampsia and embraced giving up my career to be a stay-at-home mom. 

11 Months Old

September 1 was Nick's 40th birthday and also the day Matheson turned 11 months and said, Mama for the first time. It was quite a day!

Matty has had the same nap schedule for months, but it just changed about a week or so ago. He will now take a morning nap exactly 3 hours after waking and the afternoon nap is much later.

6-6:30am Wake
Bottle
8-8:30 Breakfast
9-9:30 Morning nap (about an hour)
Bottle
12-12:30 Lunch
1-1:30pm Afternoon nap for about an hour
2:30-3pm Snack after waking with small bottle
5-5:30pm Dinner
6:45pm Bath and book
7pm - Bedtime

Matheson will let go and stand unassisted for about 20 seconds. He's attempted one step so far that I have seen and grabbed Doogan for balance. He crawls so fast that I don't think he has any interest in walking unassisted yet.

We stopped putting the Owlet on him as well as he was moving the monitor with his other foot causing the alarm to go off. So many changes. In just a few short weeks, I won't have a baby anymore. Sniff Sniff. I will have a toddler and I am not ok with how fast this year has flown by!